I have been talking to a number of people on a number of websites. I haven't gone out on many dates but I have met a few people who I could tell long stories about.
Again yesterday I cried in the arms of someone else. It was someone I actually HAD gone on a date with. I didn't reveal my attachments to my ex before he had. He told me on a few occasions that he felt conflicted about dating because he was still talking to his ex. It was only after that that I revealed my difficulties to him too. Anyway I sent him a text yesterday saying:
"Hey ****** I know you've been having internal conflicts about your ex, well mine gets married in India tomorrow. I am torn up. What do I do to get over this... I am humbly requesting your advice"
This was a very unfair text to send because I said I was looking for advice. Which I was not. Because I know that basically there is nothing anyone can tell me, no advice I could possibly receive, that could make me feel any better than I already feel about this whole thing. I came a long way from when this all started and I am mentally stronger now than I was a few entries ago. I know I will be okay. But I just miss so much.
I am mourning the death of what we had but I am really okay with the fact that I am not together with him anymore. I just miss what we had. It was so good. We were so good.
I am okay, but I am hurt. I still have to lick my wounds every single day. I still think about him every single day. I fear not having what we had ever again with anyone else... every...single...day.
I do have hope. There are plenty of hot Indian men out there. Some of them are talking to me. That gives me a little ego boost here and there.
I started talking to a hot Indian cop yesterday and since then, the primary thoughts that have been in my mind are a mix of depressed and carnal.
This leads to an insatiable appetite for something carnal that nothing can satisfy because I am just so fucking sad.
He is probably getting married as I type right now. If not right now, in a few hours. And tonight he will be with his new wife and living his first night of marriage. Satisfying his carnal appetite with someone new.
Again yesterday I cried in the arms of someone else. It was someone I actually HAD gone on a date with. I didn't reveal my attachments to my ex before he had. He told me on a few occasions that he felt conflicted about dating because he was still talking to his ex. It was only after that that I revealed my difficulties to him too. Anyway I sent him a text yesterday saying:
"Hey ****** I know you've been having internal conflicts about your ex, well mine gets married in India tomorrow. I am torn up. What do I do to get over this... I am humbly requesting your advice"
This was a very unfair text to send because I said I was looking for advice. Which I was not. Because I know that basically there is nothing anyone can tell me, no advice I could possibly receive, that could make me feel any better than I already feel about this whole thing. I came a long way from when this all started and I am mentally stronger now than I was a few entries ago. I know I will be okay. But I just miss so much.
I am mourning the death of what we had but I am really okay with the fact that I am not together with him anymore. I just miss what we had. It was so good. We were so good.
I am okay, but I am hurt. I still have to lick my wounds every single day. I still think about him every single day. I fear not having what we had ever again with anyone else... every...single...day.
I do have hope. There are plenty of hot Indian men out there. Some of them are talking to me. That gives me a little ego boost here and there.
I started talking to a hot Indian cop yesterday and since then, the primary thoughts that have been in my mind are a mix of depressed and carnal.
This leads to an insatiable appetite for something carnal that nothing can satisfy because I am just so fucking sad.
He is probably getting married as I type right now. If not right now, in a few hours. And tonight he will be with his new wife and living his first night of marriage. Satisfying his carnal appetite with someone new.
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