Random rant

WTF with people not staying in touch with me? I try to stay busy and social. I try to be a good friend. But with the exception of like 5 people, I end up only being contacted when someone needs help. As I have explained before in this blog, that is a wrong thing to do. Don't ignore your friends and then be surprised when they choose to no longer speak to you.
This one girl I knew in nursing school had a gathering around Christmas time in Albany, back when I was living in NYC, and I traveled my ass all the way to Albany to see her. We were pretty close, we had been roommates when we studied abroad in the Dominican Republic, and she always used to email me asking me how I was doing, and wishing me well in general. She let it slip at some point when I met her at her gathering that she had visited Brooklyn recently. I asked her when she went and she realized at that point that I was about to get angry at her for not telling me she went. She told me "oh, a few months ago, I was just visiting friends." I got a little upset. Should I have? I don't know.

Then just today, one of my "friends" I have made here in Albany has kind of been blowing me off. He knows I am from NYC, I always talk about how much I miss it. I go on facebook and lo and behold, he's got an album entitled "NYC" with pics of him in Times Square. The thing is, after each time that this happens, I end up feeling bad about myself and taking it personally. I know this is an irrational way to think but old patterns resurface easily I guess.

Maybe I should stop chasing people and just start being selfish. Seems to be the way to go these days. I am staying true to those who are true to me. I will live hard and fast by my own rule to treat others the way they treat me. I can't keep doing this to myself.