Too early

It's too fucking early in the AM to be thinking about this shit. It's now affecting everything. I was supposed to be at work at 700 this AM and I woke up at 700. Called and told them I would be in at 8am.

Last night I talked to him on the phone and he said he was sad. Initially he denied that it had anything to do with me. Then I started crying and I told him, "This hurts so much, I have never been hurt like this, this is so new". And I don't know if he started crying, all he said was "me too" and was quiet. His friend had told me prior to that that he was sad about not being able to be with me. But, there has been no fight, hardly any mention about me to his parents, and no determination to fight. Growing up entails doing that at some point in your life, stupid! Why can't you man up and stick up for what you want. You are weak, a mama's boy. I can't take it anymore. My requests to have nothing to do with you are unmet because you think that being friends would be more beneficial to both of us but you don't see that every weakness you share with me tears me up inside and makes me want to love you again. You need to stop it, continue being an asshole, and make it harder for me to like you or even want to talk to you. That's the only way I can see me getting over you 100%. Maybe after that we can be on a minimal talking basis. But I cannot continue my life like this, I have a job to do and I am simply unable to meet its demands if I am up half the night crying about you.