I find myself constantly planning and preparing my life in anticipation of each and every worst-case scenario my troubled head can dream up.
For example, while looking up some housing possibilities for our future, I told my husband that the cost of the place would have to be low enough that one of us would be able to afford to stay there if the other one of us died.
I see how some would see this as a little too dark and dismal, and I wonder if this way of thinking comes more naturally to me as a nurse, because I see people at their worst. My job revolves around finding the best in peoples' worst moments.
Personally, I don't see myself living a long life. I never have. I don't know if I want to.
I have always been a little obsessed and a lot curious and terrified in equal measures when it comes to death. But it also keeps me grounded as it is the great equalizer. That knowledge beings me peace to some extent.
This world is just crazy and as time passes I slowly lose hope for the goodness of humanity. There are many good people out there but I don't see them in powerful enough positions to make a difference in the net effect of bad peoples' actions.
As an underdog, I place a lot of importance on equality, fairness and justice. Am I losing hope? I don't like to think so but maybe that's exactly what's happening.
For example, while looking up some housing possibilities for our future, I told my husband that the cost of the place would have to be low enough that one of us would be able to afford to stay there if the other one of us died.
I see how some would see this as a little too dark and dismal, and I wonder if this way of thinking comes more naturally to me as a nurse, because I see people at their worst. My job revolves around finding the best in peoples' worst moments.
Personally, I don't see myself living a long life. I never have. I don't know if I want to.
I have always been a little obsessed and a lot curious and terrified in equal measures when it comes to death. But it also keeps me grounded as it is the great equalizer. That knowledge beings me peace to some extent.
This world is just crazy and as time passes I slowly lose hope for the goodness of humanity. There are many good people out there but I don't see them in powerful enough positions to make a difference in the net effect of bad peoples' actions.
As an underdog, I place a lot of importance on equality, fairness and justice. Am I losing hope? I don't like to think so but maybe that's exactly what's happening.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, SM. Today I read your:
"This world is just crazy and as time passes I slowly lose hope for the goodness of humanity. There are many good people out there but I don't see them in powerful enough positions to make a difference in the net effect of bad peoples' actions."
...and it made me think of Rome, at the heart of the pagan Roman Empire, as it was declining and about to fall; of all the people who built up Christendom by doing amazing things in the following years, looking back at the quietly sung miracles of earlier days.
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