The human psyche is a crazy thing.

I realize this makes me sound like a bad person and that I am trying to rationalize away my evilness. However it is something I have to get off my chest and this is really the only place I feel I can do this.
So this relationship with this boy I have been seeing is getting kind of serious, but I find myself exhibiting behavior that seems like I am almost looking for ways out of this relationship and at first, it makes no sense why I would act in such a way. But I asked some questions to myself and I realized a few things. I will proceed to investigate each point one by one.
1. I am scared of getting heartbroken again after the last time. Last time hurt so badly that I don't even know if my heart was ready to get into the relationship this one has grown into. This is a much different relationship than the one I had with Manish, though, and that is definitely a good thing. I can tell this person cares about me, whereas I was always guessing about Manish and giving him the benefit of the doubt about everything when doubt was all I ever had about his feelings for me.
2. I am scared of not having a secure future in terms of finance and I don't want that to be the cause of a split in the future. He is a chef by profession. Currently, though, he works as a waiter and that scares the hell out of me. I am not, nor was I ever, some snobby bitch who only seeks people of a certain royal breed. However it cannot be denied that whether we like it or not, money is required for a satisfactory lifestyle in this world and most of the arguments that married couples have these days is about money. I want to get AT LEAST a master's degree firstly because I have a thirst for knowledge and I miss being a student, and secondly because I know it will pave the way to a job I love and get paid better for. The person I am with now also has a bachelor's degree; however he has absolutely no interest in acquiring higher education because he says it is a "waste of time and money" and that experience is more valuable than education in his field (hotel management). While that may be true, a thirst for knowledge is downright sexy to me! When a person has the drive to do more, to be more, to learn more...that sense of ambition is very endearing to me and gives me a sense of admiration for that person. Isn't it necessary to admire someone you love? Complacency is such a turn-off. I mean it would be fine for me to know that there was just a simple desire for him to learn more, even if he couldn't afford it or whatever. But yesterday when I said to him, "do you think you might want to get your master's degree? there are so many good programs in your field..." he flat out said "no" without any hesitation. Immediately after that, this played in my head.
3. I am scared of growing up and being one person's partner forever. While being single sucks sometimes, it rocks sometimes also. It is thrilling to do whatever the hell you want without having to answer to someone else. But then, if you are in a relationship, having to answer for your actions means you have someone who cares for you, who worries about you, and who wants you to be safe. But an independent person like me who is used to being alone can get tired of all that at times, and just not want to have to fight for my right to do what I want.
I realize all of this sounds very immature but I just had to get it off my chest. I don't know what I have to do to not feel this way.