My last grandparent- my father's mother- passed away July 27, 2019, aged 87. The last time I saw my grandmother was July 11th, 2019.
My father passed away July 30, 2019, aged 66. The last time I saw my father was July 28th, 2019.
I am thankful I was able to see both of them so close to their passing.
I feel so, so sad.
My father told me the last time I saw him, that he wanted to share things with me next time I came. I never got to hear those messages. I miss his voice saying his nickname for me. I miss calling him my nickname for him. Many people who knew he wasn't around for me as a child told me I was a good daughter for not just ditching him in his old age. Some people told me that if they were in my shoes, they would not devote as much time to spend with their father as I had. Now that my father has passed on, I am so relieved I chose not to feed the devil within me, I chose not to steal more time away from us. There were days when it was very, very hard to be a good daughter. But I truly tried. It gives me peace to be able to say that I was there for him while he was in the hospital as much as I possibly could have been.
I pause for a moment when I notice something my dad would get a kick out of. For example, the name of the director of the funeral home where my dad was cremated, is "Mr. Greaver." I can just hear my dad laughing at that.
The best way to honor those who loved us who are no longer with us, is to do their lives justice through our own. Hard to do.
My father passed away July 30, 2019, aged 66. The last time I saw my father was July 28th, 2019.
I am thankful I was able to see both of them so close to their passing.
I feel so, so sad.
My father told me the last time I saw him, that he wanted to share things with me next time I came. I never got to hear those messages. I miss his voice saying his nickname for me. I miss calling him my nickname for him. Many people who knew he wasn't around for me as a child told me I was a good daughter for not just ditching him in his old age. Some people told me that if they were in my shoes, they would not devote as much time to spend with their father as I had. Now that my father has passed on, I am so relieved I chose not to feed the devil within me, I chose not to steal more time away from us. There were days when it was very, very hard to be a good daughter. But I truly tried. It gives me peace to be able to say that I was there for him while he was in the hospital as much as I possibly could have been.
I pause for a moment when I notice something my dad would get a kick out of. For example, the name of the director of the funeral home where my dad was cremated, is "Mr. Greaver." I can just hear my dad laughing at that.
The best way to honor those who loved us who are no longer with us, is to do their lives justice through our own. Hard to do.
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